The velvet gay book
The Algernon Project
If you’ve spent any time within mainstream gay culture (especially American gay culture), there’s a good chance you’ve heard of The Velvet Rage. It’s a book many will say “you simply must read,” and those who’ve read it frequently notify feeling completely seen and understood. It’s a book about how shame for one’s sexuality manifests in experience, and how to overcome that shame.
I liked the book, but I decided to write this review because it has a fascinating relationship with many of its gay readers, for excellent and for bad. In the first section, I provide a summary overview of the ideas in the book; next appear my own broad comments on it.
The third section of this review is, to me, the most interesting. A book isn’t an inert object that automatically transmits the author’s intended understanding, and The Velvet Rage that exists in the minds of many male lover men is quite clear from the actual book.
The final, short section gives my recommendation for the book.
The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World, was originally written in by the psychologist Alan Downs; in the book was revised, primarily to broaden chapter 14
Gay Men&#;s Reading Group - Velvet Rage
Thursday, September 26, pm
Left Bank Books
Join the Gay Men's Reading Group for a discussion of Velvet Rage by Alan Downs!
In The Velvet Rage, psychologist Alan Downs draws on his own struggle with shame and anger, contemporary investigate, and stories from his patients to passionately detail the stages of a gay man's journey out of shame and proposals practical and inspired strategies to stop the cycle of avoidance and self-defeating behavior. The Velvet Rage is an empowering book that has already changed the common discourse on gay identity and helped shape the identity of an entire generation of gay men.
Get Velvet Rage for 20% off in store and online during the months of August and September!
Parking: Lot one block north; street parking (meters free after 7pm). For directions and public transportation information, click here.
“Whether he is flamboyantly fashionable with a body chiseled to perfection or chronically dissatisfied and without durable relationships, the stereotypical extremes of male gay conduct are fueled by the same dark force: shame. The inevitable byproduct of growing up gay in a straight man’s society, the experience of shame in childhood and adolescence sends a boy the message that he is other and that he is worthless. To dodge feeling shameful later in life--and even after he is no longer explicitly shamed by his sexuality--a gay man will silently rage against the memory of this message and strive to excel dramatically to prove it mistaken. The stereotypical manifestation of this inner battle is a gay man’s achievement in the arts, fashion and in his body image; as with all the other forms of beauty, creativity and triumph, he is hiding behind the facades he creates. Building on the composed psychological research and the author’s own experience of the past twenty years, The Velvet Rage will help gay men profoundly understand their dichotomous extremes. Explaining the psychological underpinnings of the forces at play in their lives, it also offers useful strategies to stop the in
The Velvet Rage
The most crucial issue in a lgbtq+ man’s life is not “coming out”, but coming to terms with the invalidating past. Despite the progress made in recent years, many gay men still wonder, “Are we better off?” The byproduct of growing up same-sex attracted in a straight nature continues to be the internalization of shame, rejection, and anger - a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug overuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide.
Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author’s own journey, and the stories of many of his friends and clients, Velvet Rage addresses the myth of gay self-acceptance and outlines three stages to emotional well-being for gay men. The revised and expanded edition covers issues related to queer marriage, a broader range of examples that prolong beyond middle-class gay men in America, and extension of the original discussion on living authentically as a gay man.
©, , Alan Downs (P) HighBridge Company.