Why do i like unavailable men
Climbing the Love Peak: Why Am I Attracted to an Emotionally Unreachable Man or Woman?
The paradox of being attracted to emotionally unavailable people.
Here you leave again: you feel drawn to someone whos unavailable—a hard nut to crack. They exude vibes of mystery and aloofness you cant get close to. And you cant aid but keep trying to conquer their attention!
Or, you seem to have set up your soulmate. You both feel emotional and sexual chemistry. And you both see a clear perspective of starting a connection. But they always evade talking about their feelings and retract right before the important step.
Can you relate to any of these stories? Weve common them not to accuse or shame you. Many of us are drawn to emotionally unavailable people and favor them over those who are compassionate, vulnerable, and easy to get close with.
If you repeatedly fall for another emotionally unavailable person who cant or doesnt long to reciprocate, there might be a reason why youre drawn to occupied partners.
Common signs of an emotionally unavailable man and woman
Emotional unavailability is a coping defense mechanism that manifests in dif Do you find that you are mostly (or only!) drawn to emotionally occupied men who can’t offer you the commitment you want? Maybe you touch frustrated by this, you want to find love… and yet, you can’t summon even a flicker of attraction for the guys who are free and seem really interested in you. Maybe you reflect the heart wants what it wants… and you can’t help who you are drawn to. Maybe you’re aware that you only seem attracted to emotionally unavailable men but you don’t know why or how to mend it. Well, you’ve landed in the right place. I’m going to explain exactly why you’re drawn to emotionally unavailable men and how to break the pattern. Buckle up, we’re going deep with this one! First, let’s look at why There is no greater way to hide from yourself than in someone else’s problems. And emotionally occupied men usually have a lot of them! They are unavailable for a reason, or many. It could be a divorce, the death of a loved one, a traumatic breakup, or childhood. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to commit to anyone until his existence is in order. Maybe he’s having financial issues or emotional issues. And most men won’t wa One of the more painful scenarios that limerents have to deal with is when their limerence avatar is unavailable people. Ive written before about the challenges of unreachable LOs. Its a psychologically rich topic, and I recently came across this video from the University of Life that has a rather caustic view of the subject: Theres a lot of fascinating stuff here, and anyone who is beginning to practice purposeful living is well advised to analyse their own behaviour and see if they are, at some level, deliberately self-sabotaging to avoid the harrowing vulnerability of an authentic relationship. However, I would add a couple of counterpoints to this perspective specific to limerents and the psychology of infatuation. Barriers and uncertainty are potent amplifiers of limerence. It might be the case that your limerence avatar really is unavailable people because of abandonment fears or desire for the familiar security of a fantasy relationship, but it could also be the case that limerence only occurs because of the unavailability. If you perceive the glimmer fo Most women don’t seek out or sustain interest in unavailable men, but more women do than would like to admit. I actually saw this action so frequently in my private practice that I decided to write a book about it, which is called Overcome Association Repetition Syndrome. In a moment, I’ll tell you what’s going on in the minds of these women who seek out—and often stay with—men who will never truly emotionally commit. In my guide, I use the legal title "emotional chasing" because that's exactly what it is: a chase. Women who are attracted to this type of man spot themselves in relationships with men who ultimately won’t commit or settle down, are already married or in another relationship, or are unfaithful in a supposedly monogamous relationship. Women who fall for unavailable men usually feel that they are more committed to the relationship than the men are. These women usually feel that the men have all the power and control in the relationship. Women in relationships with unavailable men feel that they acquire to work hard to keep their partners interested, and often try to shape themselves into creature whatever they think .
1. It’s a distraction.
The psychology of wanting occupied people
1. The barrier may cause the limerence
What it's appreciate to fall for an emotionally unavailable man